Empowerment.

For most of my life, I have put the needs and feelings of those around me before my own, trying hard to keep hurtful thoughts to myself and letting people unburden themselves of their problems, without taking the time to unleash my own. My mother's voice echoed in my head saying, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all." While I still maintain some of that morally, something happened this week in my "risking more" phase that was entirely unexpected. This week, I felt empowered. 
Now, because I am who I am, and I do my best to not share too much personal detail on the web, I will simply say that I think this agreement I have made with myself to be more self-reliant in my decisions, to put some of my needs first, is probably one of the best I've made in my life. Of course, I never want to be so self-centered that the needs of my friends and the people I care about fall by the wayside. They will always be top on my list of priorities. But, I am finally moving up a little on the ladder too. 
I realized this week that I am strong, independent, and in control of my own destiny. I can be caring and loyal without being weak. That is not to say that my weakness has been eradicated by a few moments of empowerment. However, I am more confident in my ability to choose between the things that I want and the things that are offered to me. I am making decisions and it feels good to feel back in control, less hindered by what others think. I am my own person, world. So deal with it. :P