And yet, after a relaxing day yesterday, which apparently I needed more than I needed to finish seating charts, lesson plans, and the like, I feel almost sane again. Granted, it means cramming a lot more work into my Sunday than I would prefer, but if it means the difference between regaining my sanity for a few quiet moments, then it's a sacrifice I'm willing to take.
Even now, I am currently sifting through the anthology that my department requires me to use as a resource. It is a tag team effort between me and another new teacher, which is a saving grace, let me tell you. Any new teacher will tell you, that the first year is rough. I feel lucky to have such a supportive and collaborative department where I work. With five new teachers this year in my department, there is definitely some camaraderie and collective panic, which I think makes us feel slightly more at ease ('cause we aren't alone).
Despite the constant anxiety, I know it will be okay in the end. Today, the anthology that was daunting (understatement) to begin with, is really just a book. The endless to-do list seems more manageable. Here are the two discoveries I have made this morning:
1. I am still breathing, so I can get through this.
2. I have amazing people surrounding me on every front.
As long as I have those, everything else will work itself out (not without effort on my part, but still).
Also, this quote has inspired me today:
"It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul."
-From 'Invictus' by William Henley
Nelson Mendela was once inspired by this poem as he rotted in prison for nearly 30 years before becoming the president of South Africa. I know that my life is much more privileged and that I have never been imprisoned by anything but my own shortcomings, but I can relate to this today.
